South African accents and the Consulate General's office

Is it actually possible for me to go to South Africa for several months, a year or more? The preparation for making such a seemingly extraordinary decision is exceptionally arduous. I've spoken with the South African Consulate General office at least a half dozen times. I've called twice as many times, often being left on hold for twenty or more minutes until I hang up the phone in frustration. Those times on hold are especially difficult because I am bursting from the seams and on the edge of my seat waiting...waiting...waiting.



I'm waiting to hear the answer to what may seem like a small question. But, to me, it is not. The answer will inevitably be: "yes, you can come to South Africa" or "no, you can not come to South Africa". The real answer would, in all actuality, be more like "such and such document won't work" or "you are eligible for the study permit with such and such documents" or something to that effect. I feel like the blueberry girl in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. I feel bigger and bigger and bigger until I feel like I could explode from anticipation of an answer.



Finally, somebody answers the phone and I run from the doorway of my bathroom to my kitchen counter-which really is only about 10 steps- where my Blackberry was laying in wait playing some sort of techno-elevator music. (South Africans never cease to amaze me about their keen aptitude for the paradoxical.) I grasp the phone, push the center button and attempt to scroll down to turn off speakerphone so I can talk with the woman. Click. Too slow. Damn it!



Another day I try again with much more success. Questions swim in my head as I frantically scribble answers in the margin next to the question itself, which is written on an old T-mobile phone bill. "Do I really need a radiological report to prove I don't have tuberculosis, or will a skin test due?" "How do I buy medical insurance?" "What kind of criminal background check is required?" "Can I work with this permit?" "How long can I stay in South Africa?" Even though I was taught with anticipation of each answer, I was always lulled into a strange peacefulness by the smooth and sweet South African accent. Boy, I love that accent! I wonder if I will pick up their lovely and melodic inflection if I am there long enough...