Neither Red Nor Sporty

I look up on the internet used cars that fit my criteria: under R45,000. I also need something low miles that is reliable, particularly knowing I will be travelling the nine hour journey up the Garden Route from Cape Town to Port Elizabeth and back. One dealership keeps showing up as meeting these fine criteria. I show up later that day in my rental to check them out. I look around. One seems to fit my criteria so I ask to take it for a test drive.

My sales person gets in. I get in. We go. He drives around for about ten minutes while I listen for any rattles or knocks in the engine. Meanwhile, I play with gadgets to make sure the air con (South African’s shorten EVERYTHING), heat, windshield wipers etc are in working order. We pull back into the dealership. Ummmmm… “I would like to take it for drive”. “Unless,” I add with a condescending smile, “you come with the car”.

“Oh!?” he says. He fumbles around reluctantly, then mutters under his breath, “I hope you don’t scare me”. I hold my breath, not to mention my tongue, and only smile. Then he quickly calls to a nearby mechanic and orders him to go with me for a drive. I drive the car around and return. I say I am interested but want to look some more. I ask to drive another car. It’s R10,000 less and the drive proves to me why that is. “Okay, I like the first one”. Although I am nauseous from the comment, I am exhausted of spending money on a rental car. All I need is something that is reliable and in my budget. “I’ll take it”.

South Africa has a service called ‘AA South Africa’. A good friend had cautioned that any car I am interested in purchasing must be reviewed through them. I don’t know what that means, but I am aware that just mentioning it to a dealer will provide me, an obvious foreigner, a little bit of credibility. It is expensive, but I trust it is worth it- particularly because I don’t have any clue about how to purchase an automobile here.

The AA report indicates some good things and some bad things. The car is in generally good shape. It has low’ish miles; it has 130 kilometers. It hasn’t been in a major wreck, only a small fender-bender on the front-driver side. The engine is in good shape. No rust. No structural damage. But there are some things that need to be fixed. I get a final report in six comprehensive pages that describe everything from a shudder in the brakes to a loose screw in the passenger sun visor. I return to the dealership ready to negotiate.

The deal is made. They will fix everything in the report and I will buy the car. Perfect. Unfortunately, that means that I won’t get the car for a couple of days, but that is OK. Finally, I pick up the car. Hmmm… I’m no mechanic but I’m pretty sure that some of the things aren’t fixed. The car still sounds like it has an exhaust leak and the idol still waivers. This could be a problem. I take it back to AA South Africa, and for a small price they review the initial report to ensure the work was done.

Unfortunately, I was right. Virtually nothing in the report was completed. The few things that were fixed, were done improperly. The mechanic at AA South Africa takes a red pen and puts an asterisk by all the things that need to be done. He says I must go back to the dealership and tell them to fix everything with an asterisk for free. He insists I come back to tell him how the conversation went.

I find my sales person. Without the condescending smile I explain what the AA South Africa mechanic told me. He gives several inadequate excuses, which I quickly dismiss. He walks over to his manager and quietly discusses it with him. He returns and agrees to the terms. I agree to drop the car off the following day to get the work done.

I arrive the next day. It’s Friday. I let him know that I will need it back at the end of the day. He shudders. He stammers and says he can’t guarantee it will be done… that there is no way he can do that. I let him know that I won’t be without the car for the weekend and he must prioritize the work that is done and that I will be back at the end of the day to collect it. If more work is to be done, then I will bring it back Monday. Oh, and by the way, he needs to take me back to my flat in Sea Point... and pick me back up at the end of the day to collect my car. Daggers shoot from his eyes. My condescending smile returns. Of course, he agrees.

A staff from the dealership drives me to my flat about twenty minutes away and picks me up at the end of the day. I enter the dealership and sit at the desk to discuss the progress on my car. As I chat with The Sexist Pig salesman, a colleague of his looks over and says something to the effect of “you always get the pretty customers!”. I smile warmly. He, looking nauseous from the comment, glares at him and says “pretty difficult…!”. Then looks at me with a cheesy fake smile and says “just kidding”. My smile returns.

I agree to bring my car back on Monday. Again I insist they drive me to my flat and back. The same for Tuesday. By this time I am exhausted. I’ve spent two weeks purchasing this car between going to the dealership, getting my “traffic number”, licensing, AA South Africa reviews and several additional days at the dealership. Now only one thing is left. A new side mirror. I’ll be happy when it is over.